What is confidence exactly? Such a feeling dictates the lives, as well as the quality of said lives, every day around the world, in a dichotomy of situations. It is one that attaches itself to so many different strands of the human mind that it can be difficult to shape, manipulate or change in a positive self-determining way.
Our confidence comes both from the external and internal. We all need to care less what others think and focus on what WE as individuals think of ourselves. If we can utilise the confidence and self-belief that is already within us all, then our body, soul, and mind will reject external negativity and confidence crushing actions and statements from those around us.
There is a lot involved in building the confidence of one's own self, but imagine giving advice to your best friend. What would you say to that person to boost their confidence? Here are twelve tips to build your confidence as a starter point.
We all need to care less what others think and focus on what WE as individuals think of ourselves
1. Feel the power you were born with.
You are the only version of you. You are the pinnacle of your creation. You have strengths, weaknesses, and power that others simply do not possess. Remind yourself that you are without limits.
2. Connect with other people, learn to reach your inner self.
The highest and truest version of you resides within. You are not what people want you to be. You are not to meet the demands of the world around you. Instead, dig deep into yourself and follow what you feel, think, and find as a matter of interest.
Focus on the skills that make you happy. If you bow down to no-one, and stay true to what is within you, then you will find the right people for you. The environments around you will shape themselves to suit the real you in time. It may take a short period of time, but you can bend the will of the world around you just by being your true self.
3. Appreciate who you are and all that you have achieved.
Know your own value. Remind yourself daily of your true value. You are indispensable to you and your loved ones. You are an integral part of the world at large, and you have a duty to yourself to appreciate every waking moment of your life. Love yourself for who you are, not how people see you.
4. Solitude is your greatest friend.
I go into greater detail in my books with regards to solitude and the power it can bring you. Ensure that at least a couple of hours a day, or as much as possible, is spent by yourself. You will engage with yourself. Your thoughts become a learning experience of who you are and how you think.
Eventually you will become conversational with yourself, and your truest version will flow outwardly from within. During solitary moments, partake in things you enjoy. When you value yourself, you will naturally have more confidence.
5. False confidence, builds confidence
This may sound like a contradiction of previous statements, but this actually requires a combination of belief in oneself and truth in oneself. Whatever it is that is preventing you from feeling confident in the moment, let it go and pretend. Pretend you are a confident person. Feel like that person. Even if only temporary, be that person.
When you learn to do this, people will naturally respond differently, and your inner self will be free through time. Eventually it will become natural for you and people will bounce off that confidence. Remember you have only one life in your current form, and the real you is yearning to experience life at its fullest. You have as much right as everyone else does to state your opinion, share your thoughts, and unleash your mind on others. Think of it this way, in any given room, you are THE most important person there.
In addition to the above, the mind can actually be tricked into false positive responses. Sometimes you will forget that it started as an act once it becomes natural to you.
6. Positive affirmations every day.
For example:
With every breath, I grow in confidence.
I am just as important as everyone else in the room, in fact I am the most important.
Others opinions of me do not matter. I am me, and I am the only version thereof.
I am a happy, healthy, and confident person. Life is good.
7. I am you and you are me.
It is important to perform the following exercise daily. In the morning before you start your day, look yourself in the mirror. Look at all your curves, your eyes, ears, nose, mouth. Remind yourself that you love yourself, and that you are grateful for the chance to live within your body. Tell yourself that you appreciate the mind you have, the voice you have. Tell yourself that you love every minute being you.
This is an extremely powerful exercise, and should never be underestimated. If you haven't done this before, it can be pretty uncomfortable as you notice more and more about your physical self, but keep at it and the difference it makes within just a few days will be apparent.
8. Gratitude.
In a world mired with equal measures of beauty and despair, being grateful will ensure an increase in the feel-good factor. Try to have a positive outlook on the world around you. Bolster your knowledge of the ways of the world, and you will garner its many riches.
9. Magika and meditation.
Meditating and quieting your mind will help you connect with your higher self. Confidence is part of that higher self.
10. Exercise.
Getting the body moving and feeling like you are taking control of your health/fitness is always a massive boost to confidence levels.
11. Make eye contact.
Keeping eye contact when speaking with other people, ensures that people view you as a confident person. This is because others view this as a sign of confidence. In addition it also has the effect of intimidating the very person you are looking to break free from being.
12. Always expect to win or gain success.
Confidence and success go hand-in-hand. Some people are described as being born winners, others are described as having all the luck. We know this isn't true of course, but the game of chance can be significantly swung in your favour by making a simple change.
The difference between an "unlucky" person and one who appears to have all the luck is expectation. The lucky ones, or the winners in life if you want to call it that, are confident in their luck, and confident they will win. This is not arrogance. Become confident in yourself and watch everything reflect back to you.
With love,
Stephen Purdon.
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